Starting From Scratch...

And then the right brain said to the left hand... I love you more!

Who knew that what started as an artistic exercise in letting go and getting in touch with my childlike self... would lead me to realize so much about what's going on in my subconscious! In practicing mark-making, scribbling and symbol drawing for Mindy Lacefield's Paint Your Story workshop, she encouraged us to use our non-dominant hand (mine's the left) for some of the time. And when I did... oh boy... I fell in love! In fact, I loved my drawings so much more that I did with my left hand that I found myself saying...

...don't practice too much Lefty, we don't want you to start drawing like Righty!

And then I had an epiphany. Why was I being so nice to my left hand who was drawing all crooked and off kilter like a child? And the things I was saying to my left hand kind of felt like I was talking to a child...

It's okay to make mistakes.... you're just starting out. Don't get all wrapped up in the outcome... just enjoy the process. Don't worry if you don't like what you make, we'll just make another one.

But on the other hand (literally!), what have I been saying to my right hand for all these years? Well, it turned out to be things like this...

You suck. You're not good enough. You'll never be good enough. You might as well give up now because you're not capable. You can keep trying, but you're not going to get it right... no matter how hard you try!

Well, how awful is that? I mean... you wouldn't talk to a child that way, would you? Of course not! So I decided to make some changes. I'm going to take a left-handed approach in the way I talk to myself. I'm going to be kinder to myself. I'm going to pretend I'm talking to that enthusiastic young girl in me who doesn't know how to give up yet. The one who might need a little gentle encouragement. And I'm going to be really nice to her. And if I forget... well... I'll just put that pencil in my left hand and start from scratch.